I really can’t believe how quickly the exams have come around this year. My art exam is in just two days!!! And am I prepared? Not really. But I’ll sort that later on today. My whole A level experience has flown by when I look back on it; my first year was fairly bad as I found it difficult to settle in, I think, as well as having quite a scary French teacher that I had to go through a whole complaint process for before I could actually drop the subject completely. And then only doing three AS levels when all my friends were doing four was frustrating and made me worry about university applications and so on, but I think it worked in my favour really.
My second year has been much better. I find college both good and bad. I hate mornings, like really hate mornings. A lot of the time I will wake up anxious and worried about going in, which isn’t the best way to start off my day. But I do love the structure that college gives me and it makes me be sociable when my mind is telling me to stay in bed and hibernate. I feel like I’ve grown up a lot since my first year obviously, but so much learning has taken place in my second year in such a small amount of time. My friendship group has changed and I’ve had to learn valuable lessons through this – I have a tendency to stay quiet or go with the flow sometimes and it’s cost me to lose friends that I didn’t want to.
I’ve also learnt more about my body and how exam/college/coursework stress deeply affects me. I’m struggling a lot at the moment because my mind is constantly moving and cycling through everything that needs to happen, and having stress-triggered IBS means that it’s making me feel pretty awful. But I think I need to really try and look after myself by getting early nights (a few days ago I went to bed at 8pm because I felt so ill, but the 11 hours sleep was well worth it. Even if I did have to nap the next day. Sigh.) and making sure I relax – by taking baths, drawing, reading, etc. I think some people forget to look after themselves at all and hang everything on passing exams. I think I’m guilty of this. But I keep forgetting that I have a place on my art and design foundation diploma already but I know that if they don’t let me onto that course or if I don’t get into university after that, then I will just work and save up until I can go world travelling. Maybe I’ll just work abroad; someone I follow on Instagram has been working on a cruise ship in Monaco in the summer for months and gets to visit lots of places in Europe.
As for my Etsy shop and general personal work, that’s all had to come to a standstill. I’m quite upset about this. Having the shop and wanting to work for myself as made college really hard recently. But after my graphics exam is over in 2 weeks, I’ll just have media studies left, which makes my timetable super empty. And that means that I can work again, and I can’t wait for that.
Also as the title suggests, I dyed my hair a couple of days ago as I was tired of the faded pink look, so I grabbed some blue and some purple and came up with something on the spot. I have a richer purple on my roots and then it transitions into a dark blue in the ends. I am honestly OBSESSED with the colour so much. It’s given me a lot of confidence, and I’ve been wearing silver and purple eyeshadow to match and I can’t stop looking in the mirror. Mum also bought me some new clothes as an exam time treat so I will do a haul for the next blog post, but that’s also added to my confidence.
Please follow my Instagram for this blog to see more pictures of my hair: @paperscrapbook! Thank you for reading!